Experiment with butt play.
Anal sex may have a reputation for being rough, but trust me: It can be one of the coziest, most intimate ways to enjoy sex with your partner. And it’s a great one to try on Valentine’s Day, since it requires some planning.
“If you haven’t done it before, know that the first time, you may have to wait awhile before the anus opens to penetration,” Dr. Snyder says.
Unless you’re going for consensual pain, never just shove a penis or dildo into an anus without a proper warmup. As sex psychologist David Ley, PhD, told Refinery29: “If you try to do it the way most porn does, it will be like learning to shoot from watching Steven Seagal movies: Somebody will get hurt.” Not sure where to start? Here’s a handy guide to first-time anal sex.
Once you and your partner agree that you’d like to experiment with butt play on Valentine’s Day, make sure you do your research and come prepared with an anal sex kit. This should contain lube (the thicker the better, like Pjur Backdoor) and anal toys, like butt plugs or anal beads.
Want to draw out anal play and make it extra hot? Have the receiving partner insert the butt plug an hour before you even start fooling around or meet up — just knowing that it’s in there while you or your partner is doing mundane tasks can be a huge turn on.