Ladies, we guys love a good holiday especially if it involves gorging ourselves in food or getting the day off of work. Unfortunately, Valentine’s Day involves neither. Sure, if everything goes okay on February 14th, the reward is a night of sweet, sweet romance. But if you’re in a solid relationship anyway or at least have some spare cash while in the Red Light District in Amsterdam, it renders this holiday completely meaningless. That said, here are 10 reasons why guys can’t stand Valentine’s Day.
1. Because Why Does Love Need Its Own Holiday?
Listen. It is completely unnecessary to have a day in which we have to remind our girlfriends and wives that we love them and that they are special to us and blah blah blah. If we love them, this is something that a good guy should be reinforcing everyday anyway.
2. The Greeting Card and Chocolate Industries Are Forcing this On Us
I’m not one to usually point figures at others. I shouldn’t totally blame Hallmark and Cadbury’s for this madness, but I’m going to do it anyway. While it’s true that Pope Gelasius I declared St. Valentine’s Day near the end of the 5th century, it’s the modern greeting card and chocolate companies that have exploited this for all its worth. There had been a gap between Christmas and Easter when card and candy sales were at a lull, so what better way to fill the coffers then by creating a holiday that’s really all about selling cards and candy?
3. If You Are Single, You Feel like a Loser
Being alone on Valentine’s Day really sucks, especially if all of your friends have Significant Others. Studies have even shown that the holiday can cause depression among teenagers and adults who don’t have that special someone to celebrate it with.
4. If You’re In a Relationship, You Feel a Loser
Our friends are buying their girls diamond-incrusted iPhones and taking them to $300-a-plate restaurants that serve roast unicorn tenderloins. How am I supposed to compete with that? Or how am I supposed to top last year’s Valentine’s Day when I splurged at let her choose a large size Extra Value Menu at Micky D’s? Because you know every year it has to get more and more extravagant. I say, rats to that!