here is no doubt that pregnancy is a time filled with miracles, wonder, and excitement. And anyone who has ever been close to a pregnancy knows that it can also be a time of weirdness, worry, and unmentionable things that we’d rather not discuss in polite company (or ever).
But anyone who has experienced pregnancy firsthand (we’re looking at you, ladies) knows that it is mostly a time filled with eating Cinnamon Toast Crunch, hot melted cheese on any available vessel, and just about anything pickled and/or spicy.
Pregnancy cravings are all too real and can be overwhelming. Anything can trigger a craving, and nothing can distract from one.
Being a pregnant woman means spending a lot of time thinking and strategizing your food intake. Living with a pregnant woman means acquiring, preparing, and providing that food — no questions asked.
A pregnant woman is basically an avant-garde food artist. What may seem strange is actually just brilliant creativity at work.
Is that a peanut butter, Nutella, and cookie sandwich? Someone get this woman a trophy. She wins.
Some people crave fresh fruits and vegetables. Most don’t.
So I, uh, have this friend who only wanted to eat Dunkin Donuts toasted sesame bagels and cream cheese while she was pregnant. Embarrassed to go to the same drive through multiple times every day, she strategically triangulated the nearest DDs to her house and hit them in a randomized pattern. Many times. Each day. For months. So many bagels. Mmmmm — I mean, she said it was delicious.
Sometimes an expecting mom needs a little support (or permission to give into that powerful craving).
A bag of Doritos for breakfast seems like a perfectly reasonable choice. After all, corn is a vegetable. Cheese is full of nutrition. And triangles are a shape. Children need shapes.
Some food cravings are simple, easy-to-satisfy, and straightforward. Anyone can crave a hotdog!
However, wanting a hotdog so badly that it literally brings you to tears is strictly the domain of pregnant women. Does it sound crazy to you? That’s fine. Just go up to a pregnant woman and tell her that she doesn’t need a hotdog and that crying over it is unreasonable.
Just kidding. Don’t do that. You will get injured.