Here Are the Most Explosive Details From Trump Tell-All Book Next to Pictures of Cute Puppies
hances are you’ve heard about the new book, Fire and Fury: Inside the Trump White House by journalist Michael Wolff. It’s an explosive tell-all behind-the-scenes look at the Trump campaign and presidency.
And although it was only released today — four days earlier than originally intended — it’s already generated so much intense discussion because many of the revelations Wolff writes about are of the Earth-shattering, shocking, and all-together absurd sort of revelations that could only apply to the one and only Donald Trump.
We want to share the craziest, most delicious, and most unbelievable details that are revealed in the book, but we know how oversaturated the Internet is with news about Trump, so we thought we’d soften the blow/provide a distraction/infuse some happy into this mess of a story by accompanying every insane thing about Trump with the cutest dang puppies you’ve ever seen. Why not, right? There’s only so much we can do in this increasingly apocalyptic world, and we’d like to do this for you.
Trump only ran for president because he wanted to be the most famous man in the world.
This puppy is like, “Huh? Did I hear that right?” Sadly, yes, yes you did.
His ultimate goal, after all, had never been to win. “I can be the most famous man in the world,” he had told his aide Sam Nunberg at the outset of the race. His longtime friend Roger Ailes, the former head of Fox News, liked to say that if you want a career in television, first run for president. Now Trump, encouraged by Ailes, was floating rumors about a Trump network. It was a great future. He would come out of this campaign, Trump assured Ailes, with a far more powerful brand and untold opportunities.
“This is bigger than I ever dreamed of,” he told Ailes a week before the election. “I don’t think about losing, because it isn’t losing. We’ve totally won.”
The Trumps were completely shocked and upset when he actually did win.
It’s obvious by now that Trump never expected to win and never actually wanted the responsibility of running the country. But it turns out all the Trumps were pretty upset when he pulled out this victory.
In Wolff’s words:
Shortly after 8 p.m. on Election Night, when the unexpected trend — Trump might actually win — seemed confirmed, Don Jr. told a friend that his father, or DJT, as he calls him, looked as if he had seen a ghost. Melania was in tears—and not of joy.
But hey, cute puppy, right?
In fact, nearly everyone involved in his campaign didn’t think it was a good idea for Donald Trump to be president and expected him to lose.
That’s right. Kellyanne Conway, Jared Kushner, Melania, even Trump himself thought it would be a terrible idea for him to actually be president.
Not only would Trump not be president, almost everyone in the campaign agreed, he should probably not be. Conveniently, the former conviction meant nobody had to deal with the latter issue.
Losing would work out for everybody. Losing was winning.
Ivanka Trump made fun of her dad’s comb-over to others; a key part of it has to do with the scalp-reduction surgery Donald Trump had years ago.
She treated her father with a degree of detachment, even irony, going so far as to make fun of his comb-over to others. She often described the mechanics behind it to friends: an absolutely clean pate — a contained island after scalp-reduction surgery — surrounded by a furry circle of hair around the sides and front, from which all ends are drawn up to meet in the center and then swept back and secured by a stiffening spray. The color, she would point out to comical effect, was from a product called Just for Men — the longer it was left on, the darker it got. Impatience resulted in Trump’s orange-blond hair color.
Trump thinks that one of the things that makes “life worth living” is sleeping with his friends’ wives.
Trump liked to say that one of the things that made life worth living was getting your friends’ wives into bed. In pursuing a friend’s wife, he would try to persuade the wife that her husband was perhaps not what hse thought. Then he’s have his secretary ask the friend into his office; one the friend arrived, Trump would engage in what was, for him, more or less constant sexual banter. Do you still like having sex with your wife? How often? You must have had a better f*** than your wife? Tell me about it. I have girls coming in from Los Angeles at three o’clock. We can go upstairs and have a great time. I promise… And all the while, Trump would have his friend’s wife on the speakerphone, listening in.
But what a cute face on that doggo, eh?
Folks, we’re just getting started. More puppies (and awful things about Trump) on the next page!