But the concern that I’ve gone off the independence deep end is about more than major medical stuff. I’ve started to wonder if I’ve lost all ability to ask for help or comfort. When I travel, I bring my own coffee and French press with me because I like iced coffee first thing when I wake up, and I wake up at 5 a.m. I never want to be a pain in my host’s ass. I could ask that they have a bottle of cold brew in the house, but I never do. I think about texting my best friend every time I’m sad or lonely, but I don’t, because I worry that I’ll come across as needy or that I’ll be invading her day. I see two explanations for this behaviour: First, I’m a lunatic, or second, I’ve gotten very used to never needing anyone because “anyone” has never been around.