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Trump’s Gone Fracking
President Trump spent Monday golfing at his New Jersey club with the P.G.A. pro John Daly as part of his 10-day vacation from the White House. Daly tweeted a photo of the two with a message that read, in part, “One of the greatest days of my life!”
“‘Dad’? What kind of bet did those two make?” — JIMMY KIMMEL, referring to a hashtag in Daly’s tweet
“That’s a rare photo of John Daly and a guy who tweets from the john, daily.” — JIMMY FALLON
“They really look like co-owners of a water park that got shut down for giving kids pink eye or something.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
On Tuesday, Trump paid a visit to workers at a Shell chemical plant in Monaca, Pa. Stephen Colbert said the whole thing sounded made up to scare liberals.
“The plant uses a controversial practice that alarms environmentalists called fracking for plastic. O.K., O.K., now he’s just trolling us. He’s just jamming together the two worst words a liberal can think of. [As Trump] ‘After fracking for plastic, I’m going to go gun littering, and then I think we’ll be drilling for racism.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Actually, Trump was excited to visit the Shell chemical plant, because ‘Shell Chemical’ is his brand of hair spray.” — JIMMY FALLON
The Punchiest Punchlines (Swett Edition)
“In other presidential news, yesterday, Democratic front-runner Joe Biden landed a key endorsement from former Congressman Dick Swett. I kid you not, that’s his name: Dick Swett. Of course, Dick Swett shows up during the hottest time of the year.” — JAMES CORDEN
“Do you really hate the name Richard that much?” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“We know two things about Dick Swett. One, he’s a well-respected New Hampshire Democrat, and two, his parents absolutely hated him.” — JAMES CORDEN
The Bits Worth Watching
Trevor Noah found Tucker Carlson’s last-minute fishing trip with his son to be timed suspiciously close to his recent statements on white supremacy.
What We’re Excited About on Wednesday Night
Bill de Blasio, the New York mayor running for president, will chat with Noah on “The Daily Show.”