Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
‘He’s Working on a Strategy Now?’
This week, at his first coronavirus briefing in three months, President Trump urged people to wear masks, said the virus situation was likely to get worse before it got better and claimed to be developing a new strategy to fight the pandemic. On “The Late Show,” Stephen Colbert called it startling news: “He’s noticed reality.”
“To give him credit, yesterday’s virus-side chat showed the kind of strong, thoughtful leadership we need …-ed in January.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“He’s working on a strategy now? That’s like Ford’s Theater being like, ‘Good news, everyone — we’re beefing up security.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“That’s right, he’s working on a strategy now. He was like, ‘The key to disaster response is … timing.” — JIMMY FALLON
“Yeah, Trump said he’s always supported masks. He was like, ’I wore one as far back as 11 days ago.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“My God, I’d say he suffers from extreme short-term memory loss, but then again, he aced that cognitive test, so what do I know? It’s too bad coronavirus can’t be cured by correctly identifying an elephant on a piece of paper.” — SETH MEYERS
The Punchiest Punchlines (Hallmark Edition)
“When asked about former associate of Jeffrey Epstein and accused sex trafficker Ghislaine Maxwell at his press conference yesterday, President Trump said, quote, ‘I wish her well.’ And then somewhere an assassin said, ‘That’s the code!’ and started screwing together a plastic rifle.” — SETH MEYERS
“In front of millions of Americans, the president publicly sent well wishes to an alleged sex trafficker, while reminding everyone he’s been friends with her for years. I mean, you just can’t teach that kind of political talent. Now all Trump has to do is sit back and watch the votes roll in.” — SETH MEYERS
“Oh, no, that’s going to become a Trump rally chant, isn’t it? ‘Wish her well! Wish her well!” — SETH MEYERS
“Later on, Trump had everyone sign a Hallmark sympathy card that said, ‘Sorry for your sex-trafficking arrest.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“So, OK, if you’re keeping score at home, if you’re accused of spray-painting a statue of a Confederate soldier, you’re human scum who should be billy-clubbed in the trachea, but if you’re accused of recruiting middle schoolers to be sexually assaulted by millionaires, you get a greeting card.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Right after he wished her well, Trump’s staff was like, ‘Oh yeah, this is why we stopped doing these.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“OK, so just to recap: Colin Kaepernick, son of a [expletive]; accused child sex trafficker, ‘I wish her well.’” — TREVOR NOAH
“This is the one time when nobody would have been upset if Trump had used one of his trademark insults. ‘Low I.Q. individual,’ ‘horse face,’ ‘hater and loser,’ ‘psycho,’ ‘lock her up’ — anything. Instead, this is the time that Trump chooses to suddenly become a feminist? [as Trump] ‘She broke the glass ceiling of sex trafficking — you’ve got to respect that.’” — TREVOR NOAH
The Bits Worth Watching
George Lopez debuted a new platinum ’do when he guest-hosted “Jimmy Kimmel Live” on Wednesday night.
What We’re Excited About on Thursday Night
Michaela Coel, the creator and star of “I May Destroy You,” will make her “Tonight Show” debut on Thursday.