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‘The Two Essential Food Groups’
President Trump pardoned two turkeys on Tuesday as part of an annual White House Thanksgiving tradition. The turkeys were named Bread and Butter — “or as Trump calls them, ‘The two essential food groups,’” Jimmy Fallon joked Tuesday night.
“The president pardoned two turkeys and I think a Kentucky Fried Chicken while he was at it.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“It makes sense that Trump would pardon the two whitest turkeys on the planet.” — JAMES CORDEN
“Those turkeys should be pardoning him, by the way, not the other way around.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“I saw that you could actually go online and vote for which turkey got the official pardon, which is why Butter’s lawyer got caught in Ukraine trying to find dirt on Bread.” — JIMMY FALLON
“Only one thing: Bread won the White House Twitter poll by 12 points. But, of course, the Electoral College picked Butter.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“I’m surprised Bread won the popular vote. I can’t believe it’s not Butter.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
The Punchiest Punchlines (Winter Storm Edition)
“More than 20 million Americans are facing winter weather warnings right now, which will likely lead to flight cancellations and delays. But don’t let the bad weather ruin the holiday for you — that’s what your family is for.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“They also expect that extreme chill to move across the dinner table when cousin Tyler tells Grandpa, ‘Actually, gender is a spectrum.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“It is not good. Can’t President Trump use his magic weather Sharpie to scribble out the storms and draw some sun in there?” — JIMMY KIMMEL
The Bits Worth Watching
Senator Bernie Sanders joined Jimmy Fallon to “Slow Jam the News” on Tuesday’s “The Tonight Show.”
What We’re Excited About on Wednesday Night
Evan Rachel Wood will talk “Frozen 2” with James Corden on Thanksgiving Eve.
Also, Check This Out
Holly George-Warren’s new Janis Joplin biography, “Janis: Her Life and Music,” offers intimate details from the iconic musician’s own private correspondence and personal diaries.