Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
‘Fox & Friend-Zoned’
President Trump called into “Fox & Friends” on Tuesday and said he planned to call into the program regularly in the final weeks of the campaign. Steve Doocy, a co-host, told the president that Fox News had not agreed to giving him a weekly platform on the morning show.
“You may want to do it every week, but Fox is not committed to that,” Doocy said at the end of the 47-minute call. “We’ll take it on a case-by-case basis. And Joe Biden, as well, is always welcome to join us for 47 minutes, like we just did with the president.”
“Wow, Steve Doocy just told the president of the United States, ‘Don’t call us, we’ll call you.’ Imagine that — he’s the most powerful man in the world and they’re treating him like he’s a Jehovah’s Witness who’s also selling timeshares.” — TREVOR NOAH
“President Trump called into ‘Fox & Friends’ this morning and announced he will now appear on the show once a week, though he didn’t say exactly why he’s cutting back.” — SETH MEYERS
“I think Trump just got ‘Fox & Friend-zoned.’” — JAMES CORDEN
“That’s right, it’ll only be one call a week and 168 hours per call.” — JIMMY FALLON
“Wow! That is cold. That’s like ending a date with, ‘So I’ll see you next Saturday, and every Saturday after that,’ and she says, ‘Uh, you may want to see me next Saturday, but Katie is not committed to that. We’ll take it on a case-by-case basis.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“But still, man, I want to give props to Steve Doocy for inviting Joe Biden on the show to make it seem like ‘Fox & Friends’ is a balanced news show. That was pretty cool. Yeah, at the end he was just like: ‘Just to be clear, we will also talk with Joe Biden; it’s only fair. All right, coming up next, are Democrats going to burn your house down while you sleep? We’ll discuss, but the answer is yes.’”— TREVOR NOAH
The Punchiest Punchlines (47 Minutes Edition)
“The fact that Doocy knew it was 47 minutes shows you how annoyed he was. Not 45 minutes, not an hour — 47 minutes exactly. That’s someone who spent most of a conversation staring at their watch.” — TREVOR NOAH
“You know it’s been a great chat when the person you’re talking to says exactly how many minutes it’s been: ‘Well, we’ve been talking about 47 minutes, Grandma.’”— JIMMY FALLON
“And by the way, if Melania ever wanted to have an affair, Trump’s Fox News interviews would be the perfect time for her to do it. [imitating Melania] ‘OK, Eduardo, my husband just called into Fox now, so we have anywhere between 45 minutes and three hours to make cold, indifferent love.’” — TREVOR NOAH
“To put that in perspective, without commercials this show isn’t even 47 minutes long — and think about how long this feels some nights.” — JAMES CORDEN
“After 47 minutes of talking on Fox News, Trump finally had to get off the phone and go back to his other major responsibility, watching Fox News.” — JAMES CORDEN
“Forty-seven minutes. I don’t want to talk to anyone on the phone for that long.” — JAMES CORDEN
The Bits Worth Watching
Stephen Colbert introduced a new initiative to help Americans learn “how to vote early, easily and safely” in the states where they live.
What We’re Excited About on Wednesday Night
The actress Cynthia Nixon will talk with Seth Meyers on “Late Night” about starring opposite Sarah Paulson in Netflix’s new series “Ratched.”